Each and every day of this trip poses a great challenge. To stand in the sun and seek God in every moment or to choose the “my experience” mindset. The mindset that isn’t concerned about the people we serve alongside, the mindset that tells us that we should be getting the most out of our time here in South Africa, the Safari’s, the animals, serving or working with certain people or friend groups…but what if that isn’t what God had intended? What if God designed this trip for more? What if at the end of this trip we only build one relationship? Have one divine moment…would it still be worth it?
For me…it’s all that matters. May His will be done and not my own.
As the trip began and I was realizing that our team was quite large and this battle inside me “to fit,” began. To find my place and find the people that I was going to make lasting memories with on this trip. Don’t get me wrong, as you’ve read and as many of you know, I have already made so many incredible memories with this amazing team of people God has knit together…but no matter how much I “fit,” something inside me didn’t belong. Like a circle in the midst of squares, something was off and it started becoming obvious.
My prayer from the beginning of this trip was for God to make me different. To set me apart. To do something inside of me and around me that if I even just impacted or influenced one life, that’s more than enough.
His calling revealed and His calling fulfilled.
But what if His calling was to become the outcast? To feel lost? To be so far away from home and the people I love and rely on that I am no longer grounded and now have a shaken faith? To only have Him as the person I lean on and My Abba Father being my only constant.
This trip is far from over but my faith is already so deep. God and I walk together. We talk daily. He challenges what I see with my eyes, what I speak with my voice, and how I listen to others. He reminds me of this catchy phrase a pretty cool pastor once told me and that’s the switch between when you’re working, you have to do it. When you’re serving, we get to do this, and I have the privilege that I get to do this every day.
On the other hand, there are also some days He doesn’t speak much and some days…He brings me divine moments and divine interruptions. Standing alone with my face towards the sun and Helene walks up so we walk laps around our camp Elios and talk about our lives and the Lord. My spirit in confusion and Dan takes me aside. My heart in need of process, so Daphne and I talk. In the middle of my quiet time and someone in need of prayer or a simple conversation walks up. Each moment never planned but our paths cross, the conversation happens effortlessly, and it’s exactly what my soul longed for. It’s the encouragement my heart was waiting for and the reminder my mindset was needing.
To just be me and let that be enough. To not look at “my experience” but the people and team members that God sets before me. To not get so caught up in what everyone around me is doing that I miss these divine moments or divine interruptions.
As Hein said at the beginning of training, “Keep your eyes open for the divine moments as you don’t know when that moment will happen. Make the best of every moment and your immersion experience will become a tapestry of beautiful moments.”
My prayer…God may I seek your moments and not my experience. Lead me to the outcast and the one who feels lost, alone, or like they don’t belong. To wait for Your call and have the faith and courage to take the step.
…and above all else to fly above the storm, find the sunshine in my life, and keep my gaze on the Lord and the calling He has placed on my life.
To be the friend of the outcast, words of encouragement to the lonely, the loving word to someone in need, and a light to make the broken glass glitter once again.
God make me a vessel, and You do the rest.